A VULNERABLE old lady, who didn’t have much, had enough room to take in one pet.

Outside her door wanting entry were a cat, a dog and a snake.

‘Let ME in,’ said the snake. ‘I can look after you, I will protect you, I know what ordinary people like you need.’

So she let in the snake because he shouted the loudest about what he could offer her and she swore to be as loyal to it.

But the snake bit into her gas pipe so her fire wouldn’t work and laughed at her when she asked for any help he promised. Then he bit her fatefully in the neck.

And as she was lying there dying, she asked him, ‘Why did you do this? I let you in before anyone else, I put my trust in you and you let me down at every turn - why?’

And the snake said: ‘Because I’m a snake.’

I’ll just leave that little story there with you, shall I?

Say what you like about the seventies and eighties and my goodness, it was far from perfect, but the world felt a much safer place.

Of course there were still villains around, but when you went shopping in town, or walked home mid-afternoon at a weekend, the chances are you wouldn’t need to look over your shoulder in case someone was running amok with a knife.

I am constantly watchful, we all should be. I’ve just been reading a book by Chris Ryan about how to stay safe in this modern world and being low-level alert at all times is key, which means not being distracted using a phone (which is a magnet for a robber for a start).

Maybe, instead of freezing pensioners and stopping people having a fag in a beer garden, Keir Jong Un should concentrate on cutting down the knife crime that seems to be getting worse not better and putting attackers away immediately and for a long time.

Oh hang on, there aren’t any places in prison. Even rapists are being given suspended sentences so that typists can be jailed.

And though I hate keyboard warriors with a passion, I know which set of perps I’d feel more comfortable with out on the streets.

Talk about grabbing the council by the bull hooks. ‘Give us a reduction in rents or we’re going to leave,’ says big swanky Cineworld putting them between a rock and a hard place.

What to do? Cineworld said it has been forced to act due to increasing costs.

Well that’s kind of how business works – if you don’t get the clientele, you fold because landlords are, by nature, hard core, unyielding.

And now what happens to all the other businesses who rent from the council who might need some leniency?

That’s a walk into a minefield I wouldn’t like to be negotiating. Meanwhile debt-free family business The Parkway Cinema is riding any financial storm, I very much hope.

Because going to the cinema is a treat but if we don’t use them – we lose them.

Especially when you don’t need to sell a kidney to buy a carton of popcorn as is the case at the Parkway.

They put on screened and live performances there as well as films and pull all the stops out for us Barnsley folk, a passion as well as a business.

And they work wonders. I know this because my pal took her mum to see an André Rieu screened show there under duress last weekend and came out a superfan.

She’s already looking forward to the Christmas concert.