A MUM robbed of the chance of having children after cancer has told how a complete stranger stepped in to become a surrogate.
Kristi Todhunter was forced to undergo a radical hysterectomy just months after a heartbreaking miscarriage during her fight against cervical cancer.
The nursery nurse thought all chances of having a baby were gone until selfless Kendal Cook heard about her plight from a mutual friend.
Now, Kristi and her husband, Christopher, 32, have became parents after their daughter, Melissa, was born four weeks ago.
Kristi, 35, from, Carlton, said: “I will never be able to thank Kendal enough for what she has done. She has made all our dreams come true.
“All I’ve ever wanted is to become a mum. I still have to pinch myself as I hold Melissa in my arms she really is the greatest gift and I feel like the happiest person alive.”
Kendal, 28, a single mum with two daughters of her own, said: “I just felt so compelled to help Kristi when I heard about her situation. I knew there was nothing more special than becoming a mum so wanted to do what I could to make that possible for her.”
Kristi was diagnosed with cervical cancer four years ago, when she was 31 and just six weeks’ pregnant.
She said: “It was a huge shock. We had only been married three months and already suffered one miscarriage. After I’d fallen pregnant again, we were so hopeful we were finally going to have the baby we’d dreamt of.”
But the couple’s bubble of happiness was cut short when a routine smear test revealed Kristi had abnormal cells.
After further tests and a biopsy, doctors broke the news to Kristi that not only did she have cervical cancer but her condition was so advanced she needed a hysterectomy and would have to undergo a surgical termination as there was no chance of her unborn baby surviving the invasive surgery.
“We were absolutely devastated,” said Kristi. “There are no words to explain the sheer pain we both felt. I’m a nursery nurse and love children. All I’d ever longed for was a baby of my own to nurture and cherish.
“The only hope I clung to was the fact that the surgeons didn’t have to take away my ovaries and I could use my eggs in the future to have a baby.”
Just days before the surgery was planned for New Year’s Eve 2015, Kristi, suffered a miscarriage.
She said: “Naturally I was devastated, but there was a part of me that was relived nature had taken its course and I didn’t have to sign the consent forms for a termination.”
Although the operation was initially deemed a success, two weeks later further tests revealed the cancer had spread to Kristi’s lymph nodes and she needed a course of chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
There wasn’t time for any of Kristi’s healthy eggs to be removed and the invasive treatment left her sterile.
She said: “The cancer was hard but it was nothing in comparison to being told any chance I had of having a baby of my own had been taken away.”
In August 2016 doctors announced Kristi was in remission. She said: “It was a bittersweet moment. I was obviously relieved I’d beaten the cancer but absolutely crushed that I may never become a mum - something I had taken for granted for years.”
The couple considered fostering and adoption but desperately yearned for a newborn baby of their own.
After speaking to specialists they were placed on the waiting list for a donor egg and joined Surrogacy UK but despite months of social get-togethers they were never paired with a suitable match.
Then in November 2016, Kristi, was at work when a colleague, Danielle Taylor, announced she had a surprise for her.
After taking Kristi into a private room, Danielle handed her a handmade card revealing a friend was willing to act as surrogate mum.
The message ended with: ‘I think you’re amazing and so so strong. So& I want to help! Can I be your surrogate?!’
Incredibly, Kendal, who had never met Kristi but heard about her desperate situation and knowing how much happiness her own two daughters, Marley, seven, and Addily, four, had brought her, felt compelled to help.
Kendal, a mental health carer, from Worsbrough, said: “I just had a huge urge to help. I spent several weeks thinking about it before I made and wrote Kristi’s card but always came back to the same conclusion - I just had to help.”
Kristi said: “The first time we met Kendal, I just hugged and hugged her. There were no words to express how grateful we felt.”
Afterwards, Kendal successfully completed the necessary psychological medical assessments, stipulated by the fertility clinic which agreed to support the process.
In January last year, a donor came forward and Kendal began the IVF cycle at Jessop’s Hospital, Sheffield, using gas fitter Christopher’s sperm to create an embryo. The couple and Kendal were warned there was only a one in three chance of a successful pregnancy.
But in November last year, Kristi and Christopher’s biggest dream came true when a home pregnancy test revealed Kendal was pregnant.
Kristi said: “It was the most incredible moment. I just sobbed and sobbed but this time they were happy tears. Finally, after everything we had been through, we were about to become parents.
“Of course, I would have loved to have carried my own baby but I knew that wasn’t possible and this was the closest way Christopher and I could ever become parents.”
The pregnancy left Kendal, who only received expenses for acting as a surrogate, tired and sick but she never once regretted offering to help Kristi and Christopher.
She said: “Obviously it’s exhausting being pregnant but it was worth every minute to see how much happiness I was bringing Kristi and Christopher. They were always so grateful, continually asked how I was, and never stopped thanking me.
“I was very honest with my own daughters and explained to them the situation Kristi was in and they both agreed we should help her.
“Right from the beginning I only saw myself as babysitting Melissa - she was never mine, I was just looking after her until she was born. I didn’t allow myself to have an emotional attachment - of course I did everything I could to ensure the baby was getting everything she needed but I was very clear in my own mind she wasn’t mine.
“I was lucky that everyone I told was very supportive. Not all of them could completely understand what I was doing but I didn’t get one negative comment.”
Kristi and Christopher attended every scan with Kendal and watched in amazement as their baby grew.
“It was absolutely breathtaking seeing our unborn baby wriggling about and getting bigger and stronger with each week,” said Kristi.
Then, last month, as the couple waited in an adjoining hospital room, Kendal gave birth, via a natural delivery, to little Melissa, weighing 7lb 8oz.
Within minutes of her daughter being born, a nurse handed Melissa over to Kristi. As she held her baby for the first time, she was able to breast feed Melissa, after spending months naturally inducing lactation with a breast pump, to start her milk supply.
She said: “It’s almost impossible to express how truly amazing and beautiful it felt. It really was the most wonderful feeling. At long last, I was finally a mum and had a baby of my own to love and cherish.
“I took in every detail of Melissa, from the big mop of brown hair I’d always imagined she’d have to her little button nose. She was absolutely perfect in every way.”
