Daft woman of the week was the one that obviously got her green traffic light and her green man mixed up and decided to walk out in front of cars heading up Shambles Street and nearly got herself splattered. Then what did she do when she got to the other side of the road? She pressed the button to stop the traffic. I wonder where she was in the queue when they were giving out brains.
So today is my big 6-0. Yesterday I was in my late fifties, today I am early sixties and it will take some getting used to. My pals, of course, are on the same age path and we have had to joke about it, because without humour to offset the grim times where are we? There was a story in the paper this week about Avanti West Coat rail who handed out ‘insulting gimmicks’ to support its female employees during the menopause.
The firm was accused of making a joke out of it by including in the gift bags things like jelly babies: in case you wanted to bite someone’s head off, a pencil: to write down all the stuff you might forget, some tea: because that makes everything better and a candle: to remind one there is light at the end of the tunnel. Avanti hit back at the criticism and said that it was actually undertaking a range of serious menopause support measures too and this was just a gift bag initiative suggested by a female worker.
Personally I thought that was sweet and funny, but there were those who thought it patronising and insulting. Dear god, if we can’t laugh when the going gets tough when can we? Have we become a nation of people who are insulted by anything and everything. Er yes. I have, in the last month, developed an aching knee. If a pal bought me a tin of WD40, would I pull up my handbag and be outraged, no, I’d laugh my bloody head off. And I am glad that I would. I hope I’m not in the minority. At sixty I am aware that things might start to drop off but I just hope that one of them isn’t my sense of humour. In today’s virtue-signalling, gutless, bewildering climate, it’s a quality we need more than ever.
I would like to say a very special thank you to the staff in the town hall, Nicola the operations manager and the guys who helped set everything up for my book launch last week. My publishers came up from London and were mightily impressed with the palatial building and the beautiful tiered-seat chamber where we held the main event and then across the landing for a slap up buffet in style thanks to the English Rose Tea Room in Hoyland who put on a terrific spread as always. My only regret is that I never asked anyone to save me an egg mayo. (They always go first don’t they?) They did us proud. And talking of being proud – I am beyond made up that Barnsley has been shining in this wonderful book festival. Showing off our facilities and what we have and what we can do is terrific. The organisers should be patting themselves on the back until their skin is red raw.
Right I am now going to eat birthday cake to dull the sight of all the cards with 6-0 on them. Enjoy your week. I shall welcome in this new decade with my arms wide open - before my shoulder copies my knee and freezes up with arthritis.
